Heads Or Tails

I made it home in time for an actual dinner at a reasonable hour with other people tonight. It was only possible because my trial settled earlier in the day, leaving me with too much adrenaline to focus on anything else and a few hours of idle time this evening. Settlement is generally incredibly anti-climatic; neither side is particularly happy. In this case it was the right result, but I was hoping for some time in front of a jury because it is rare.

Despite the fact that I was able to leave work at a reasonable time tonight, I still completely missed out on this:


Dave Eggers was at The Garden District Bookstore earlier tonight in support of his most recent book, Zeitoun. It is the story of the painting contractor (I know that those of you living in NOLA have seen his signs) and his family in post-Katrina New Orleans. There is no question that I have had an overload of Katrina, but, as far as I am concerned, whatever Eggers pens is worth my attention. What a shame that I missed him because we had such a great rapport last time he was in town, I was convinced we would be fast friends.

I have a few distractions though...no one great excuse, but many little ones.

In honor of Josh's birthday, I am sharing La Luz's most-recent and favorite new trick. It is one he taught her a few weeks ago, one she practices regularly. The video illustrates how she is completely incapable of manipulating small objects. There will be no magic tricks in this girl's future:

Heads or Tails from Julie Vaicius on Vimeo.

While You Are Far Away

Christian left at around 5 a.m. this morning to spend about two weeks in Costa Rica. I have mountains of work, tons of missed time to catch up on, and a trial next week. The timing is impeccable. In fairness, his trip was planned long before life happened. Fear not, we called in reinforcements. Mary Cox has agreed to spend the next ten days in NOLA filling in the gaps and generally handling the toughest parts of the day with the kiddies, so I can breathe a sigh of relief. Keep your fingers crossed that they are both on their best behavior.

The weekend was nice. In the chaos of all of the trip preparations and usual weekend hustle and bustle, Christian and I managed a late dinner and movie - Crepe Nanou and The Hangover. Crepe Nanou was great, as always, and The Hangover was exactly as I expected it to be, though maybe slightly less funny.

I spent most of the weekend working hard to combat La Luz's recent bouts of absolutely abhorrent behavior (whining, begging, baby talk, and serious attitude). Saturday was a bit tough. I will spare you the details (it is not interesting to hear about other kids' poor manners) but I think my stricter stance and use of time outs helped because today it was like a whole new world.

Here they are, hanging around, James looking as if he desperately needs to be saved:

As Long As I Can See Your Face

After a bit of a fight and then a bribe or two and a short-lived stand-off, La Luz agreed to let Aunt Susan cut her hair. It is perfect and the irony of it all is that she is now obsessed with it - smiling as she catches her reflection in the mirror, touching the blunt bottom with her hands, fumbling with her barrettes...



Speaking of haircuts...

How awful is this hairdo? I am sure she has a stylist at this point and, yet, the hair persists. And it is not just the hair, it is the color too. It is an ugly trait to pick on physical appearances and I generally try to avoid it for the whole 'living in a glass house' reason, but I can't resist and I am sure it is only because her face is everywhere.


Honestly, the only way to describe it is a haircut that was popular but always consider ugly at some point around the late 80's. In fact, I think maybe my driver's ed teacher had that exact haircut, except he was a guy.

James, 6 Months

It is hard to believe that it is happening so fast, but I guess there's no way around the fact that this little guy is growing up. He is babbling up a storm and I am entertained by the frequent changes in pitch and cadence as he searches for his voice. He is no longer content to sit still and dealing with him proves, on most occasions, to be not unlike a wrestling match with a baby alligator. He is grabbing everything and immediately moves whatever object he was lucky enough to snag into his mouth. He is still enjoying multiple large bottles every day and is slowly warming up to the idea of oatmeal (though he is more interested in just grabbing the spoon and bowl). He is smiley and patient and full of love and still incredibly captivated by me. I hope that never changes.

4th Of July 2009

As we have done every year for about the last 6 or 7 years, we spent 4th of July weekend in Atlanta. It is sort of an annual event for us and is definitely something we look forward to every year. I usually take a week of vacation, but with all that has been going on in 2009, and in light of my recent maternity leave, I cannot afford to miss a week of billable hours. The compromise was taking today off, I know, one day, how pathetic, but that is how it goes...

At any rate, although the trip was shorter than usual, it was great. I got to spend a ton of time with these guys, which is always a good thing:


I ran the Peachtree Road Race for the 5th (I think) time and, though woefully under prepared this year, I managed to finish without walking and without medical intervention. It was a blast and deserving of its own post one day when I have ten spare minutes to write it.

We also managed a few hours with friends we see too infrequently after the race on Saturday. There were a couple of quiet mornings sleeping in and a peaceful afternoon together drinking coffee and looking at books while Nana and Papa-T watched the kids.

As always, it was tough to come back to NOLA after being in the suburbs of Atlanta where the store clerks are polite and actually want to help you, the public parks are state of the art, and you aren't too scared of getting shot to tell your neighbors to call it night when they are shooting off fireworks after midnight.

La Luz had a great time playing with her cousins. As always, Liam was a perfect gentleman and never tired of La Luz's endless bossiness. Pete, on the other hand, might prove to be a bit of a challenge as he gets older.



Pete, running the Zingo table, he isn't even two yet...


James was the absolute center of attention. The boys could not get enough of "Baby James" and I guess I can kind of see why:


Liam holding James


Liam, dispensing wisdom on how to care for a newborn.


James put everything he could get his hands on in his mouth this weekend, spoons, bottles, shoes, you name it. He has to be teething.

All in all it was a lovely trip and I am going to miss this:


The only picture I could manage with all four kids in it. I think you can see why.

Soooooooo...

Not much has been going on around here. I would say I have finally, slowly, fallen back into a routine but, since Molls is still in town, I guess that isn't quite true. But I do sort of feel like it...like the little, inconsequential things are making their way back into the forefront of my brain, the same, tired refrain : work is busy and stressful and I doubt myself; I don't have enough time with La Luz and James; the house is a zoo, the list goes on. It makes me sad in a way. In a way I don't want to ever be preoccupied with such things again. If I am going to be preoccupied I want it to be with the big stuff, with filling that empty hole that consumed me a month ago, because to not feel that way is to admit that I am moving on and, on some level, that feels even worse than simply grieving. I am not unrealistic. I think I understand what is going on here.

The process is helped along by other things in my life, these incredible distractions...

He is into this now:


and is teething, maybe:


and warming up a bit to tummy time:


and Lucy time:

Beach Weekend, 2009

We boarded Loki and headed to the beach for a quick weekend in the sand and surf. Molly joined us since mom was spending the weekend in Las Vegas with AJ and Uncle Edward (no, I am not kidding).

The sun was shining. The water was icy-cold. Lucy, finally, loved the sand and James was exactly how you would imagine a 5 month old would behave at the beach. I wish I had captured his initial reaction to the waves on video (I didn't have the Flip with me at the time, of course, but I had my camera). It was the craziest mixture of exhilaration and terror.

Check out his face in the picture - looks just like the Cowardly Lion from Wizard of Oz - just sayin':


All in all it was a perfect weekend and, although it was quick, with three adults around for child care I think everyone had at least a little bit of peace and quiet at some point during that 48 hour period of time. I spent my 1.5 hours with Molly underneath a big umbrella reading magazines and listening the waves. It was bliss.

Here are some of the pictures from the weekend:

Lucy, 4 Years Old

I might not have done the best job of keeping track of everything that happened this past year, but I have no doubt that this one will go down in history as one with incredible highs and lows. This past year you became a big sister and, after waiting so patiently for his arrival, you were the picture of grace when you learned that James was born, shouting in the middle of the hallway of your school, "he's here, he's here, I can't believe it". And when you saw him for the first time you realized what all of the fuss was about and your heart was so full of love and pride. I saw it all and made a memory which is tucked away in the not-so-far recesses of my brain and when I need to smile I bring it back and I feel good.


You also lost a grandparent this year and, though I worried a great deal about how to act and what to say, you made my job easy because it seemed as if you understood what they say about what awaits us upon death. You were not disturbed by my tears and you were sympathetic about my broken heart. You reminded me about what is high up in the sky and the angels and the beauty of heaven and I felt comforted. I know you will remember your grandfather, not so much because you remember things that happened to you when you were eighteen months old, but because you were his favorite person in the world and I am certain that he left his mark. I am looking forward to telling you about the time you spent together and explaining the hundreds of pictures I have of you next to him. There is a beautiful story in each one.


Despite the deep swings and having to reckon with life being so bittersweet, you continued to grow and thrive and captivate me. A few times over this past year I was struck with the feeling that you grew. I would look away and then look back and your legs seemed longer and suddenly your p.j.'s didn't fit and I had to let the hem out of your dresses and you needed a haircut. I started to hear your opinions more, about how you don't like peanut butter and how orange really isn't your favorite color anymore and why I should buy Oxy Clean (because it gets your stains out). The most annoying thing you started doing this year is making plans with your friends without informing either me or your friends' parents. Occasionally your father or I would show up at school and Aleaya and/or Devyln would be standing next to you, bag in hand, ready to come over. When we explained that we hadn't talked to their parents and it just 'didn't quite work that way' you flipped out. In the middle of your school. I think you sort of understand the concept of a play date now, barely.

You are still clumsy with crayons and have trouble writing your name, but you have small fingers and your father and I do not do enough to help improve your fine motor skills. We should spend more time making you color, write letters, use stickers, string beads and perform whatever other tasks will help you get better control and coordination of your hands. I know you would benefit if we turned the t.v. off more frequently but, honestly, after a long, hot day at camp or school I can understand that you want to veg out and watch some old Loony Tunes, who wouldn't.


So you haven't mastered writing your name yet, you have learned how to do quite a few things. You can jump, ride your bike and your scooter (okay, sort of) and you have even started to climb on furniture. I can tell you are nervous about it, but I have seen you jump from sofa to table to bed and back. You also learned to love the beach this year. While we were in Florida you ran in the sand, built sandcastles and searched for crabs and seashells. You love to swim and, at last, can do so with a bit of confidence, jumping into the pool unassisted and swimming from side to side.


You have a big imagination and love to create stories. You recently figured out that if you don't like the way your 'story' is playing out, you can stop and start all over with a new, more exciting theme. This happens most frequently when I am losing interest in whatever 'story' I am caught in the middle of. I usually end up having to play the role of the school teacher or the family pet and, I promise, it gets old. You still love dress-up and princesses and books and movies. You still suck your thumb and sleep with your bun-bun and want to talk about your friends and the day's events before you drift off to sleep and every now and then when this happens you are in my arms, reminding me of the very first time you were there and how I almost couldn't take how heavy me heart was when I finally understood what my incredible love for you meant.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl, I love you.