Sunday, March 08, 2009

2 Months

Wow. How did that happen? I blinked and my maternity leave ended. It flew by. I knew it would. James is in no way ready for daycare. There is no schedule to speak of, napping is something that happens when he is snuggling under my chin and we are rocking, he hasn't had his shots, he is only just starting to focus on things and laugh and babble, and I can't imagine torturing him with spending his days in car seats and swings. Fortunately, Nana came to the rescue and is here with James for the first two weeks of my return to work. Mom is going to take over for the following two weeks which means that James will not have to go to daycare until he is three months old (which, incidentally, still sounds too young to me, but so it goes).

I can't figure out what the difference is this time around. Why am I so sentimental? Is it because I have a suspicion that this is my last baby? Maybe it is because my maternity leave was interrupted early with La Luz as a result of Hurricane Katrina and at that point I had much bigger things to worry about - fixing a flooded home, making sure we kept our jobs, finding a place to live...? Maybe I didn't know what I was doing and didn't trust myself with La Luz and was ready to hand her off to someone more capable. I can't quite figure it out but it is tugging at my heart more profoundly this time around. I suppose it might have something to do with the fact that the last two months have been blissful. At any rate, it has all come to an end. I am deeply sad about returning to work but also ready to jump in, prove that I can handle it, and start to develop a new routine. I know it is going to be crazy and that is why I am going into it with my eyes shut, holding my breath...wish me luck.

The adorable James (aka "Santi") at 2 months:


lindavaicius said...

Julie, you will be just fine, you don't need any luck. As for James, he is with Nana who you know will take great care of him, no worries there, So take a deep breath and try to have a good first day back at the office.

love you
Aunt Linda,

Nola said...

I know your pain, hon, and you'll do just fine. It will all settle in and work out just as it should. Be grateful you have family that can offer so much support :)

James is a cutie and I can see why leaving him is so hard.