Tuesday, January 15, 2008

One Year Ago Today

I have been feeling sort of sentimental lately about how fast La Luz is growing up. She is much more like a little kid these days than she is like a baby. It is sort of wonderful and heart breaking all at the same time.

Here she is, one year ago today, playing at the same park she played at earlier this evening with Christian:


And now, one year later and so very different:


As predicted, I undid all of Margot's hard work yesterday. I know it would be different if I had the time to spend with La Luz. I am certain that if I were with her for more than just a few hours each day during the week she would be potty trained by now. I am not naive or unrealistic. I realize that because I decided to work and be a mother I have to accept that both my skills at work and as a mom will, on occasion, vary in precision. I can usually accept that, but every now and then it disturbs me because I am very much a perfectionist and I get the sense that it is not just that I am not doing things right, it is that I am totally missing out on some very important things. Sometimes it just doesn't make me feel any better to remind myself that I am 'doing the best that I can do'.

"No voy a llorar y decir que no me merezco esto" - Julieta Venegas

7 comments:

Nola (www.nolanotes.com) said...

First, being a new mom, I don't like thinking about how fast our babies grow!

Second, being a working mom (and an attorney, too), I know how you feel about missing things.

You are doing the right thing for Lucy. Think of the role model she'll have in you! It's truly quality not quantity that matters.

For me it is working to be in the office only three days a week. And I LOVE my days spent home. It's a nice balance, and it helps me appreciate my days in the office more.

I'll stop rambling and say simply that what you are feeling is normal. And remember, the grass is always greener. If you were a SAHM, you'd have guilt about not working!

If you want to talk more privately, feel free to e-mail me.

TOITA said...

I like the way you ended the blog today..It is probbaly the best phrase I have ever read..Don`t feel bad, you are an awesome Mom for my Lucy girl..And I guess that if you where at home every day, you would find that there is something you are missing...What I try to say (not being a mom myself) is that I think it is a good choice to find a balance between your carreer and your life as a mom..And you are doing a hell of a job my friend!

xoxo


Toi

Scarlet said...

Okay...look. This is how baby Beau got potty trained. Remember how before we moved to South Carolina, Gary was at home with the kids 24/7? Beau had absolutely no interest whatsoever in being potty trained. In fact - he had no interest in actually walking into the bathroom - had no curiosity about it whatsoever. We enrolled him in daycare in South Carolina, and put a full-fledged diaper on him on the first day at three years old -- he would not consider putting on a pull-up, let alone his adorable Spider-Man tightie whities. Me being the eternal optimist, and knowing that some of the kids were potty-trained, I put a pair of underwear in his backpack. The teacher said that she could probably get his big boy underwear on him by day's end. I patted her on the back, very patronizingly (word? sp?), and said something like, "heh heh heh - good luck with that." That day, we picked him up, and he was wearing his big boy underwear. The rest, folks, is history. Beau was potty-trained on that day. As I recall, we didn't even have any accidents from that day forward. So - you see - it was actually the socialization skills that he received being around other kids that pushed him to potty-training; it wasn't having a parent at his beck and call (like he did at that time) 24/7. Love you, and La Luz.

Anonymous said...

It sounds as if La Luz is just not ready, so leave her alone and she will train herself when she wants to.

ummmhello said...

No te llores... we working mothers go through this every now and again. I won't tell you that it gets easier. Now that my little one is four, I mourn for all the little things I missed when he was a baby.
And sure, sometimes telling yourself that you're doing your best is like telling yourself the biggest lie in the world, because you feel that you can (and should) do better.
But these are just a few of the things that make moms so amazing. We DO hold it all together, as role models and as MOMMAS - and La Luz will totally see that and appreciate it when it's her turn to decide whether to be a working mom :)

Julie Vaicius said...

Thanks! I feel better. I guess sometimes all it takes is a little support and a reminder to focus on the benefits of being a working mom.

NOLAcathie said...

Don't let potty training become too much of a big deal. I promise she won't be in diapers next year at this time.
Lucy is a genuinely caring, compassionate, loving, sensitive little girl who is keenly aware of how much those in her life love and care for her, otherwise she couldn't give it back so beautifully.
Nothing is more important than this.
You all are both doing a terrific job as Lucy's parents!